It's no secret that Johnny Manziel is Outkick the Coverage's favorite SEC football player of all time. 

But even we continue to be amazed by his feats of athletic excellence.

Last night he homered during San Diego Padres batting practice while wearing jeans and boat shoes. Then he executed one of the most amazing first pitches in history.

How so?

He reenacted his fumbled touchdown pass against Alabama.

Really, he did.

Watch.  

Google searches provide the ultimate window into the soul of America.

Our search history reveals more about us than any other online activity. Back in the Civil War, Walt Whitman waxed eloquent about hearing America sing. Well, in the 21st century, we can all see what America's searching for. And as a country, well, we're a weird bunch of people.  

Right at 13% of OKTC's site traffic comes from search and this search traffic is almost 100% from the United States. That's a low search percentage for a website, but I happen to believe that sports search traffic is virtually valueless. That is, people who stumble on the site via these searches aren't likely to return again and again by choice.

Our most frequent Google search traffic at OKTC makes sense, they're all variations of Outkick the Coverage -- OKTC, outkick coverage, Outkick -- or variations of my own name. But once you get to the bottom of the top ten things get weird in a hurry.

How weird?

The 2012 Summer Olympics is the latest evidence that sports are immune to DVRs. Even when, interestingly, the network is effectively a DVR airing taped events. Since Friday's tape-delayed debute of the opening ceremonies NBC has been catching social media heat for its decision not to carry those ceremonies and other events live on its family of networks. Yes, you can stream all the events live online, but a tiny fraction of sports fans are actually doing this.

(Raise your hand if you've been consuming the Olympics live online at the expense of on television. If you are, you're an extreme, extreme minority).

Instead, every night, tens of millions of us are sitting down in front of our televisions -- even when many of us know the outcome -- and tuning in to the Olympics in record numbers.

I think the reason is simple -- American society craves shared experiences. That's because increasingly, our shared experiences are rare. How many of you watch a favorite television show live? I don't. I can't tell you the last time I watched one of my favorite shows as it aired live. I watch everything on my DVR. How many times have you had a conversation with a friend, a friend that you know watches the same show as you, and began it like this, "Have you seen the newest "Mad Men" yet?"

I guarantee you every single person reading this column right now has begun a conversation like this.

My Analysis of the Dream Team v. the Self-Esteem Team, by Kobe Bryant

In 1992, the Dream Team, made up of Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Charles Barkley, David Robinson, Patrick Ewing, Scottie Pippen, Clyde Drexler, Karl Malone, Chris Mullin, John Stockton and Christian Laettner, took on the world at the Olympics in Barcelona.  Not only did the team win gold, it defeated opponents by an average of 44 points.

Twenty years later, Team USA (the “Self-Esteem Team”) includes Carmelo Anthony, Tyson Chandler, Anthony Davis, Kevin Durant, James Harden, Andre Iguodala, LeBron James, Kevin Love, Chris Paul, Russell Westbrook, Deron Williams, and me, Kobe Bryant. 

A few weeks ago, I told reporters that this year's team could beat the Dream Team because it consists of a “bunch of racehorses, players who are incredibly athletic, while the Dream Team consisted mainly of players at the tail end of their careers.”  Dream Team members responded, in part, by stating, “LOLOLOLOLOL.” 

Instead of dismissing my comments out of hand, allow me to explain the details I considered in arriving at my conclusion.  First, I compared the two squads based on major college and NBA achievements, arriving at a preliminary score.  Then, I added and deducted points based on conduct on and off the court.  Turns out, it came down to a tie-breaker, with the overtime win going to the Self-Esteem Team.  Here’s how it all played out:

It's mailbag time and I'm writing it with a bad case of poison ivy, the first of my life.

You know what the only thing worse than getting poison ivy is? Being responsible for your four year old getting poison ivy. And then having that poison ivy show up while you're on a Las Vegas bachelor party trip.

Before we get any further along, I've been inundated by emails and Tweets seeking an update on how negotiations for my fight against old man LSU fan Billy Ayo are proceeding. And I regret to inform you that Billy has not replied to my time and place conditions.

He has, however, -- as many of you pointed out -- pulled a Sarah Palin and taken to Facebook to voice his opinion on the matter.

Quoth Billy:

"I would like to thank everyone for having so much fun at my 15 minutes of fame. Too the asshole that made this all happen I thank you. Wish I could remember his name. Easy to forget unimportant people."

This past weekend I was in Las Vegas for a bachelor party.

It was an amazing weekend that featured one man's heart stoppping, another man's lighting himself on fire during a lap dance, and an underage prostitute stealing a license from a third man.

Ah, Vegas.

It was also the perfect time for me to lay my futures bets for the upcoming football season.

Here were my bets at the Palazzo sports book.

1. I put a thousand dollars on Kentucky to go under 4.5 wins.

Every few years an old man wants to fight me. It's kind of a hazard of writing on the Internet. Yes, young people do dumb things with technology, but they actually know how that technology works.

Old people?

Not so much.

So, occasionally, they want to fight me.

Which brings us to Billy Ayo, a dear friend of the Alabama beach family that believes I am going to hell for posting their picture online yesterday.

Last night Billy sent me the following email which I have reproduced below in full.

Subject: Stupid

"I just had the opportunity to read you comments regarding the Cole family beach picture.  You are without a doubt the biggest asshole a believe I ever met.  Just to cut to the chase, if you would pick a time and place it would give me no greater pleasure to accomodate and beat the living hell out of you.  You low life inconsiderate asshole.  And for the record these are dear friends and I am an LSU fan, bleed purple and gold but would go to hell and back for these people. Show up coward."

While I may be a big asshole, it is impossible for me to the biggest asshole that Billy Ayo has ever met because we have not, you know, actually met.

Notwithstanding this error of time and place, common for individuals of Billy's age, now Billy wants to fight me so long as I'm willing "to pick a time and place."

Consider this my response. But first, here is Billy's Facebook profile.

If you are a Southern man, there is a billion percent chance that one of the women in your life has uttered this phrase: "I wish we had a beach portrait."

When we were down at Destin for SEC spring meetings my mom uttered this phrase no less than fifteen times.

The beach family portrait is distinguished from a regular beach picture by a couple of significant factors:

1. It's choreographed and planned.

You don't just show up wearing what you happened to be wearing on the beach and end up taking a photo. 

2.  Women tell you what to wear.

In my beach photo men were instructed to be shoeless, wear blue jeans, and white button down dress shirts. Yes, I always wear jeans, no shoes, and white dress shirts on the beach, why are you asking?

So this isn't just a candid snapshot on the beach, it's a scheduled fashion shoot that's supposed to look real. The idea is something like Southern preppy meets beachcomber, "Oh, hello, look at that photographer who just happened to be here on the beach while our entire family was wearing perfectly matched clothes. I guess we should smile." 

Chances are at least half of you reading this piece right now have been involved in the family beach portrait. And if you haven't been involved you've seen one of these pictures in a Southern family's home.

But what happens when an LSU husband/son-in-law is asked to pose in a family beach portrait full of Alabama fans?

Awkward family beach photos.

And this one is splendid.

Back in November, just a couple of weeks after the Penn State story broke, I wrote that the NCAA had the authority to hammer Penn State. Once that was clear the question was simple: not could the NCAA sanction Penn State, but should it? For the past several months this has been the only real question, to sanction or not to sanction? Both sides could marshall strong arguments. But on July 23rd, nearly eight months after OKTC initially told you that the NCAA had the power to sanction Penn State, the news became official, the NCAA would act. Not surprisingly Penn State was hammered by the NCAA. The school was fined $60 million dollars, all wins, a total of 111 victories, are stripped dating back to 1998, a four year post-season ban is applied, and Penn State loses dozens of scholarships, ten a year for the next four years in its recruiting classes, as well as sees its total number of available scholarships reduced to 65.

Additionally, all players are eligible to transfer immediately.

NCAA President Mark Emmert called the penalties a "stark wake-up call," and said, "The lesson here is one of maintaining the appropriate balance of our values."

Penn State agreed to the penalties, signing a consent decree. That's important because it means these penalties were negotiated and will not be appealed. In essence, Penn State capitulated to some of the severest penalties since SMU's death penalty in order to escape potentially more severe penalties. This is doubly significant because it eliminates the concern, voiced by many, that the NCAA's power grab could lead to even more unjust results going forward. This is the greastest sports scandal of all time, these situations don't arise very often. So an NCAA power grab isn't a valid concern. If Penn State truly believed the NCAA lacked the authority to deliver sanctions, it could have fought these punishments to the utmost. 

Instead, based upon a more full record than any NCAA investigation ever has -- the Freeh report and criminal investigations were exhaustive -- the NCAA acted with a full record of established facts.    

Leading to one inescapable conclusion, for once, the NCAA got it completely right.

SEC Media Days has officially just closed out here in Hoover and I'm now writing this as I fly from Birmingham to Las Vegas for one of my good friend's bachelor parties. Already, it's a great trip. Southwest now has WIFI, which is akin to your grandfather's rustic mountain cabin having a 70 inch HD television with every channel. I'm still in awe. This means I can file the mailbag a day early and focus on making my futures wagers tomorrow in Vegas.

Anyway, as we taxied down the runway to take off the Alabama fans on the plane did a Roll Tide cheer.

That really happened.

Right now the guy sitting next to me, a huge Bama fan headed out for a bachelor party, is making me a bit uncomfortable. Why? Because he hopped on a four hour flight with nothing to read at all. (Yes, I believe he can read, although I'm not 100% sure, he is a Bama fan.) 

Who does this though? Can you imagine getting on a four hour flight with nothing? He's in the center seat right now staring straight ahead at the seat back.

Vanderbilt quarterback Jordan Rodgers, younger brother of Green Bay Packer Aaron, led the Commodores to a bowl berth last season and attended SEC Media Days yesterday.

This year he is hoping to become the first ever Vanderbilt quarterback to start in two bowl games. He's confident, smart, fearless, and ... hairless.

Yes, hairless.

Also, very patriotic.

These are among the deductions we can make thanks to the Twitter profile picture which Rodgers displays to the world here.