Ever see Snoop Dogg strutting across the stage and think, "Snoop's got some decent height and if he wasn't so high all the time, he might have pretty good motor skills."

Well, you were right. 

Meet Cordell Broadus, Snoop's son, who is a four-star, ranked #88 overall, in the class of 2015 by 24/7 Sports.

The Doggfather's son already has ten scholarship offers from USC, LSU, Tennessee, Duke, California, and UCLA among others. 

Ah, UK basketball fans, the dumbest fan base in sports, thank you for existing. 

Whether it's your classy portrait in UK gear alongside your cocker spaniel, your gorgeous twins at the SEC tournament, or your guy eating cereal who thinks, hey, Anthony Davis's skin is pretty much the same shade as my Reese's Cocoa Puffs, thank you for existing. 

You know what Alabama football fans think when they look at Kentucky basketball fans?

"Your dumb."

And then Kentucky fans responded, "Nun-uh your dumber."

Anyway, thanks for existing Kentucky fans. (And for wearing jorts as you pose alongside your cereal masterpiece. WIth your little brother with the broken arm and the blue cast. Seriously, you can't even make this stuff up.).

So our beaver pelt trader of the week is Danny Palmer, the UK fan who made this picture in the first place. 

In a war of words that will soon you have you begging Steve Spurrier to leave the golf course and make fun of someone or something, Texas A&M's Kevin Sumlin and Florida's Will Muschamp are feuding over whether or not College Station is a nice place to visit. 

Last week Will Muschamp uncorked a "zinger" on the rubber chicken route. “You ever been to College Station? It'll be the only time you go,” Muschamp told the Polk County Gator Club.

Now word has reached Sumlin. 

And you don't want to see Kevin Sumlin when he's angry!

He's wild, he's out of control. 

He's...responding to a bad joke by taking it seriously. 

Want to sleep with more women?

Don't know how.  

The answer is easy: watch The Bachelorette on Monday nights.

If you can’t do that (or refuse to do that), your only other option is to know the key players this season, and know them well enough to pretend you're watching.

Which is where I come in. 

Lucky for you, I’ve created your handy Bachelorette All-Star Roster (see how I put that in sports terms for you? I am too good to you people) to study and reference before your next interaction with any females.

By the way, I don’t know why I’m even doing this for you guys. If y'all remember correctly, I was in your shoes not too long ago. Football season was upon us, and I suddenly had no idea how to interact with the opposite sex. If someone would’ve created a cheat sheet for me during football season, I would’ve been indebted to him forever. Instead, I had to fend for myself during that dark and lonely period. I wisely knew the best way to get a man’s attention was to incorporate some sort of football lingo into my daily vernacular; the problem was, HOW. I typically stuck to something like “So, this football game … is it over yet?” Or, if my prey was a tougher nut to crack, I’d try the more perceptive, thoughtful approach of, “Wow, I thoroughly enjoyed that last goal. I can’t wait for the next football match.” Or, if ever in a pinch or if time was of the essence, I’d just arbitrarily yell out “SPORTS!!!” (I am not endorsing any of these methods, girls, and I won’t be held responsible for the outcome if you try them out.)

See, lots of women fake football knowledge to be more attractive to men. You can do the same. Fake Bachelor/Bachelorette knowledge well enough and women will sleep with you. 

Really. 

Today ACC commissioner John Swofford appeared on our 3HL radio show on 104.5 in Nashville and strongly rejected the idea that Florida State, Clemson, or Miami may be considering a move to the Big 12. Asked whether he was surprised by comments from TCU AD Chris del Conte this morning that the Big 12 "now has schools like Florida State, Clemson, and Miami (that) are trying to get in,", Swofford replied: "Yes, it would (surprise him.) I base that on talking to their presidents and their AD’s who have told me that there have been absolutely no contact or conversation with the Big 12. The Big 12 commissioner told me the same thing yesterday. So, yes I find those comments, (chuckling) just one more rumor."

You can listen to the entire interview here. 

Swofford also said he would be disappointed if any universities were not being straightforward with him, "Yeah, we’ve got a league in which, you know, people sit in a room and talk very forthrightly with each other. There’s a lot of respect within the room, there is a lot of trust within the room, and on this particular subject, and by the subject I mean conference affiliation, I think we’ve all learned, or should have over the last two or three years that there are an awful lot of things put out there that have no foundation or basis of truth and often times are irresponsible in being out there in the first place. That is part of the world we live in unfortunately.  Consequently what I pay attention to, and what we pay attention to in this league are what is said from our presidents and their AD’s and quite honestly I have talked to each of those presidents within the last 48 hours and that’s not at all what I’m hearing from our schools."

Further elaborating on the future of the conference, Swofford said, "I feel very good about our league and its solidarity and where we’re headed."

Virginia Tech fans have caught SEC fever.

I can see the early signs, the emails and Twitter messages are flooding in to OKTC, the same kind of early emails that started at Texas A&M and Missouri and slowly swept through the fanbases. Florida State's flirtation with the Big 12 has shown Virginia Tech fans the light, they want to be in the best conference in America. And now they're starting to make their voices heard. 

One of the most fascinating things about conference expansion has been the extent to which it's driven from the bottom up as opposed to the top down. These aren't athletic directors and school presidents sitting on high making a decision about the future of their athletic programs and universities, these are fans, sitting in front of their computers, on Facebook, on Twitter, on talk radio, on message boards, driving up the interest amongst each other until the administration feels compelled to act.

It's conference realignment revolution. 

ACC commissioner John Swofford is the new Dan Beebe. 

You remember Beebe, right? Last year's Big 12 commissioner whose perceived ineptitude in the face of seismic changes in the college landscape led to his eventual replacement by the wizened Chuck Neinas, a man so old he began his commissioner days before passing the football was allowed. As Texas A&M and Missouri left for the SEC, Beebe worked around the clock to gently massage Texas as the rest of the Big 12 raged against the dying of the conference light. 

Everywhere you turned on the Internet Beebe was lampooned for going down with the Big 12 ship. He became the Carrott Top of conference commissioners, the only professional casualty of realignment. Indeed, the only good public relations Dan Beebe ever received was from a fake Twitter account which continues to riff on the changing landscape of college athletics. 

A fired Beebe fled the college athletics scene and has not been heard from since. 

He now works as a short-order cook in a Stillwater Waffle House. 

So far Beebe is the biggest loser of all in conference realignment. 

Last year the Big 12 was a dead conference walking after Texas A&M and Missouri bolted for the SEC. 

Then something magical happened, the Pac 12 decided it didn't want Oklahoma. Already Kansas, Kansas State, Iowa State, Baylor, and Texas Tech were without other conference options. Once the Pac 12 rejected Oklahoma and Oklahoma State that meant of the eight remaining schools in the conference only Texas had any real options to leave the Big 12. 

And Texas already ruled the Big 12.

So after losing Colorado, Nebraska, Texas A&M and Missouri the Big 12 truly hit rock bottom with a solid core of eight teams that weren't going anywhere. After near death came the bounce back additions of TCU and West Virginia. 

Then came guaranteed television money and the 13 year grant of rights that led to further stability. 

Once the other seven teams in the conference realized they had no true options the Big 12 wasn't a dead conference walking anymore. Everyone had to get together and work everything out.   

Just as I prepared to hit publish on All That and a Bag of Mail, news broke via CBS Sports Brett McMurphy and Tony Barnhart that the Big 12 and the SEC had entered in to an agreement for the two conference champs to play a bowl game in the event they weren't included in the playoff. 

Per a release from the SEC that game will be played on January 1st beginning with the 2014 season and lasting for five years.

The site for that game will be bid out, but rest assured that it will take place in either the Sugar or Cotton bowl locations.

Will it be the Sugar or Cotton Bowl?

Not if the leagues want to make as much money as possible.

And that will be fascinating to see. If the Big 12 and the SEC have both put on title games, why can't they also put on a bowl game and make all the money themselves? We're probably talking about at least $20 million a year since you could see this to a TV network as well.  

Of course, just twice in the 14 year history of the BCS title game has neither an SEC nor Big 12 champ been included. So that part of the agreement, that the champs will play, is likely ephemeral. The game between conference champs would rarely, if ever, happen in a four team playoff. Instead, the SEC and Big 12's second best teams would be selected for the game. But what this agreement does do is illustrate something much more important, the Big 12 and the SEC are likely to be allied going forward in how to select the four teams for a playoff. And it also establishes a clear line of demarcation setting off the four top conferences in America -- the Pac 12 and the Big Ten have the Rose Bowl -- and the SEC and the Big 12 will have their own partnership and their own bowl.  

Judging from my email y'all still want to talk about Florida State to the Big 12 -- which I'll do below -- and this agreement would appear to make that more likely.

Our beaver pelt trader of the week is Phil Fulmer. Congrats on his induction in to the college football hall of fame. At least Tennessee didn't fire a coach who'd gone 152-52 in his career and replace him with a 17-20 WAC coach who has since gone 11-14 in the SEC.

Wait... 

College football is the most nakedly self-interested of all the sports we love. 

That's why it's failings are the most human, the most susceptible to special interest capture, the least logical, a banana football republic.

Most sports have a common interest that unites them in pursuit of a common pot of championship gold, college football does not.

Think about the sports you love for a minute, it's easy for the NFL, the NBA, Major League Baseball, the NHL, hell, even college basketball to decide upon an egalitarian method of crowning a champion.

Why?

Because in their essence these are all benevolent dictatorships on a yearly quest to distribute money to winners. 

Television is driving all of conference realignment. 

Whether it's the Longhorn Network that precipitated last year's slate of realignment or the massive rights deal recently inked by the SEC that set rights fees soaring into the stratosphere, television is the driving force behind the seismic shifts in college athletics. 

But most of these shifts are relatively small, that is, most conferences have plenty of anchor teams that clearly aren't going to relocate for a bigger paycheck. 

And with the rights fees explosion in college athletics we're talking about the SEC, Pac 12, ACC, Big Ten, Big East, and Big 12 bringing in around $1.2 billion dollars a year in total rights fees for all sports. 

That sounds like a lot, but all of college footbal is still $700 million less a year than ESPN pays for Monday Night Football by itself. Indeed, the NFL's 32 teams bring in nearly $5 billion a year in television revenue.