It's no secret that Johnny Manziel is Outkick the Coverage's favorite SEC football player of all time. 

But even we continue to be amazed by his feats of athletic excellence.

Last night he homered during San Diego Padres batting practice while wearing jeans and boat shoes. Then he executed one of the most amazing first pitches in history.

How so?

He reenacted his fumbled touchdown pass against Alabama.

Really, he did.

Watch.  

In the past month Tyler Bray has been accused of "jet ski hotdogging" and throwing beer bottles off his apartment balcony at cars below. This is important news because after Steve Spurrier finally kicked Stephen Garcia off the South Carolina team we thought we'd have to wait a long time until another Garcia would arrive in the SEC. Turns out we just had to wait half a season. Now Tyler Bray, "the face of the Vol offense," as Derek Dooley memorably called him at SEC Media Days has become your friend in college who always got busted for doing dumb stuff that wasn't really that dangerous. 

In fact, here's a write-up on the charges Bray faces according to the Knoxville News-Sentinel:

"According to Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency officer Dewayne Williams, Bray was driving a Jet Ski with a woman passenger when he was observed by Williams "hot dogging" with another Jet Ski. Williams explained the term "hot dogging" as "almost like playing chicken" on Jet Skis.

The other Jet Ski tipped over spilling the unidentified occupants into the water. Bray then sped near the swimmers "spraying them with water," according to Williams, who added "he was almost on top of them."

Jet Skis are supposed to operate at least 100 feet apart, Williams said.

The charges include a Class A misdemeanor for reckless operation of a personal watercraft, and a Class C misdemeanor for failure to have a boating education certificate.

The Class A misdemeanor carries a possible $2,500 fine and six months in jail." 

For a long time ESPN ruled as a cable sports monopoly. Sure, there were challengers to the ESPN throne, but they did dumb things like hire Tom Arnold and try to mix sports and other programming -- Turner Sports. For much of the last 15 years ESPN has been the unrivaled king of the cable sports marketplace. That's what happens when you bring in six billion dollars a year in cable subscription fees. Remember, every one of us that has cable or satellite is paying around $5 a month just for ESPN. That makes ESPN the single most expensive channel on cable today.

With additional monthly fees for ESPN 2, ESPN U, ESPN News, and ESPN Classic, we're shelling out around $10 a month, $120 a year, for ESPN programming. ESPN then uses our monthly subscriber fees to pay big money for television rights fees which allows ESPN to demand more money from cable companies. Witness ESPN's massive $1.9 billion dollar a year Monday Night Football deal. It's a neverending circle of cable sports dominance that most cable subscribers don't even recognize because cable bills aren't broken down by individual station cost.

At least so far. 

The best part of ESPN's business model?

Non-sports fans are paying as much for ESPN as sports fans. 

That means your grandmother, aunt, and non-sports infatuated brother, are all paying the same amount for ESPN as you are. That's right, non-sports fans who don't watch a single game all year subsidize the cost of ESPN programming for those of us who are sports fans. If you're thinking to yourself, wait a minute, why doesn't a la carte cable programming exist, you're asking a question that makes ESPN really, really nervous. A la carte cable programming is the greatest threat to ESPN out there today.   

Satan must be pretty busy down there these days. Not only is he mass-producing Cowbells and Crocs, but now he’s working over-time making short shorts.  

(Just to clarify, these are made for people who possess male genitalia. I own shorts with a longer inseam than that. Seriously. Let’s ge tahold of ourselves here, guys.)

If you haven’t heard about them already, allow me to introduce you all to Chubbies: the latest obnoxious trend for men sweeping the nation andmaking us long for the days when our biggest enemy in menswear was a bejeweled Ed Hardy V-neck viciously raping our eyeballs. Now there’s an aggressive new contender in the running, and it doesn’t seem to be slowing down any time soon. In fact, it’s taking over. Here's proof:

Okay, it's mailbag time.

Apologies for falling a day behind on part two of the bachelor party column, but now I'm caught up and it's mailbag time. Meaning you get two long articles from me this Friday to help the weekend get here faster than you could have hoped. (I know you're not working today).

Props to Gabby Douglas for her gold medal win, she's our beaver pelt trader of the week.

Without further ado, on to the mailbag:

Remember when YouTube was created and we all said, "This is awesome now anyone can make videos."

And remember when you were a kid and you thought, "Man, nothing could ever make the Tennessee-Alabama rivalry seem lame. Nothing!"

Then YouTube existed and this video about Tennessee and Alabama, "Overcome the Tide," was made.

And you've basically got to question all of your life's assumptions now.

I didn't think it was possible for anyone to make a worse video than the Alabama fan singing "Call Me Maybe."

Then this happened.

Google searches provide the ultimate window into the soul of America.

Our search history reveals more about us than any other online activity. Back in the Civil War, Walt Whitman waxed eloquent about hearing America sing. Well, in the 21st century, we can all see what America's searching for. And as a country, well, we're a weird bunch of people.  

Right at 13% of OKTC's site traffic comes from search and this search traffic is almost 100% from the United States. That's a low search percentage for a website, but I happen to believe that sports search traffic is virtually valueless. That is, people who stumble on the site via these searches aren't likely to return again and again by choice.

Our most frequent Google search traffic at OKTC makes sense, they're all variations of Outkick the Coverage -- OKTC, outkick coverage, Outkick -- or variations of my own name. But once you get to the bottom of the top ten things get weird in a hurry.

How weird?

The 2012 Summer Olympics is the latest evidence that sports are immune to DVRs. Even when, interestingly, the network is effectively a DVR airing taped events. Since Friday's tape-delayed debute of the opening ceremonies NBC has been catching social media heat for its decision not to carry those ceremonies and other events live on its family of networks. Yes, you can stream all the events live online, but a tiny fraction of sports fans are actually doing this.

(Raise your hand if you've been consuming the Olympics live online at the expense of on television. If you are, you're an extreme, extreme minority).

Instead, every night, tens of millions of us are sitting down in front of our televisions -- even when many of us know the outcome -- and tuning in to the Olympics in record numbers.

I think the reason is simple -- American society craves shared experiences. That's because increasingly, our shared experiences are rare. How many of you watch a favorite television show live? I don't. I can't tell you the last time I watched one of my favorite shows as it aired live. I watch everything on my DVR. How many times have you had a conversation with a friend, a friend that you know watches the same show as you, and began it like this, "Have you seen the newest "Mad Men" yet?"

I guarantee you every single person reading this column right now has begun a conversation like this.

My Analysis of the Dream Team v. the Self-Esteem Team, by Kobe Bryant

In 1992, the Dream Team, made up of Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Charles Barkley, David Robinson, Patrick Ewing, Scottie Pippen, Clyde Drexler, Karl Malone, Chris Mullin, John Stockton and Christian Laettner, took on the world at the Olympics in Barcelona.  Not only did the team win gold, it defeated opponents by an average of 44 points.

Twenty years later, Team USA (the “Self-Esteem Team”) includes Carmelo Anthony, Tyson Chandler, Anthony Davis, Kevin Durant, James Harden, Andre Iguodala, LeBron James, Kevin Love, Chris Paul, Russell Westbrook, Deron Williams, and me, Kobe Bryant. 

A few weeks ago, I told reporters that this year's team could beat the Dream Team because it consists of a “bunch of racehorses, players who are incredibly athletic, while the Dream Team consisted mainly of players at the tail end of their careers.”  Dream Team members responded, in part, by stating, “LOLOLOLOLOL.” 

Instead of dismissing my comments out of hand, allow me to explain the details I considered in arriving at my conclusion.  First, I compared the two squads based on major college and NBA achievements, arriving at a preliminary score.  Then, I added and deducted points based on conduct on and off the court.  Turns out, it came down to a tie-breaker, with the overtime win going to the Self-Esteem Team.  Here’s how it all played out: